In The Beginning

JULY 15, 2012

I'm not 100% sure where to begin.  I should probably start with a disclaimer:  I am incredibly honest (to a fault at times), sometimes a little blunt/graphic, and often a little too open.  If that bothers you, I won't apologize but you've been warned.  ;-)

For a list of helpful blogging abbreviations, please visit this link:  http://www.stirrup-queens.com/2006/07/blogging-abbreviations/  The Stirrup Queens Blogroll is also a good resource for parents, parents-to-be, foster parents, and those facing infertility.

A simple request: I ask that everyone be open-minded and kind in your responses.  You're entitled to your opinion, of course, but please be respectful.  This is a sensitive subject matter (& my hormones are all kinds of crazy right now) so please keep it pleasant.

This is my story of struggling for YEARS with infertility, a brief synopsis of my experience with the product Bee Fertile (http://www.beefertile.com/company.html), going through a divorce, & then discovering the biggest surprise of my life - that I am PREGNANT.  I will start from the beginning when my ex-husband and I first started trying to conceive and then I will get the story up to speed, to the day I discovered my pregnancy just a couple of weeks ago.  I'll explain all of the complicated details having to do with the baby's father & then I hope to chronicle my pregnancy.  I don't want to forget anything about this amazing, emotional, sometimes overwhelming, and yet absolutely wonderful journey...

IN THE BEGINNING...

I met my ex-husband (EH) when we were children. For the sake of protecting his privacy, I won't say much about him.  All you need to know is we were together for 7+ years and tried for most of our relationship to conceive.  We grew up together, were incredibly comfortable with each other, and wanted to start trying for a baby right away.  I stopped taking my birth control pills (BCP's) in 2005, about six months after we moved in together.  We thought we would just stop the BCP's as our first step and see what happened.  After a couple of years, we began to believe something might be wrong.

I went for my first infertility visit with the doctor in 2007.  She suggested some remedies that I found rather rudimentary.  She suggested new sexual positions, a change in diet, stress relief technics, and (literally) standing on my head after sex.  It seems laughable. I know I certainly had a look on my face that said, "You're out of your damn mind".  She laughed and said, "I know what you're thinking, but we shouldn't just assume infertility right off the bat."  I was angry.  I walked out of her office and vowed to never return. I went back to my regular doctor and asked for a new referral.  The next visit didn't go much better.  I explained that we had been trying for two years with no results and wanted to look into our options.  The new doctor agreed to run a few preliminary tests on me, and if they came back okay, we would move on to testing my husband.

All of my preliminary tests for Endometriosis, PCOS, & every STD in the book (among about 20 other things that I can't remember) all came back negative.  My doctor said she wouldn't be able to go any further with me until my husband underwent a seminal analysis.  I approached EH about it and he instantly bulled up.  He didn't like the idea of "donating" his "stuff".  He wasn't the type to do that sort of thing on his own, even when he was younger. He was incredibly uncomfortable with that sort of thing. I explained we could go home, do it there, and rush the sample back to the clinic, but he still resisted.  He said he would like to look into other options before we went further with any infertility treatments, doctors, or tests. It would be another year before he would agree to let me return to the doctor to discuss our IF (infertility).

BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD...